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When Clutter Contains Us

Posted by Andrée Collier Zaleska at Feb 26, 2010 03:30 PM |

Common Security Club members are reevaluating their relationships with the excess stuff in their lives.

The Container Store promises us help with a cultural crisis in the most cheerful terms: “…innovative products to help customers save space and, ultimately, save them time.” Simplify! Get organized! We enjoy our possessions, it proclaims; ownership is wonderful and fulfilling—the only trick is to make it all fit.

Annie-Leonard-185px.jpgLife After Stuff
Annie Leonard reveals what gives her strength, even as she and her popular film, The Story of Stuff, are attacked as un-American.

But the very existence of such a store seems to indicate that people are feeling owned by their stuff, rather than the other way around. Many of us have now grown up under the ethic of endless consumption, of shopping for entertainment, of objects poorly made, so that they break and require replacing. We are driven to acquire, and to define ourselves by our acquisitions.

This is an issue that comes up with great frequency in Common Security Clubs. It is both an issue of money, and one of time and energy. Members may express anger at the pressure to consume at one meeting, and then talk about their shopping compulsion and clutter problem at another. We fight the tendency to consume, but it often gets the better of us.

One Club member, Catherine Baker, has recently created a personal organizing business. Catherine was surprised when she started “A Room of One’s Own." She had thought she would rely mainly on her organizing skills and personality to put her clients at ease. She discovered instead, as she was presented with her clients’ stories of their struggles with clutter, that she “often felt like a combination of a priest, a social worker, and a bartender."

“People sometimes tell me very personal, painful stories," she says. "They may have family and friends who have called them lazy, messy, or worse. It’s never that simple. I have yet to find a clutter situation that doesn’t have a more complicated reason behind it. I do not pry into people’s personal lives, but a big part of solving many clutter issues isn’t just bringing my organizing skills to the challenge, but really listening to the client and hearing what brought him or her to their particular situation in the first place.”

Catherine sees clients who are at the mercy of their own frugality, sometimes the result of a childhood of want. Some end up overwhelmed by the hundreds of toiletry articles they’ve saved, or the trash bags of their children's old clothes they couldn't bear to part with. “My clients and I gently talk about the irony in this. How it’s strange how sometimes, in honoring everything, you can end up honoring nothing.”

Catherine also watches people struggle with mounds of paper on dining room tables where no one has eaten in years. “The overflowing dining room table problem is so common. It can range from folks just not having time to put things way to something more problematic: If the dining room table is cleared, there is no reason for the family not to sit down together.  But if they sit down together, there will be conflict.”

Catherine has noted that “people with clutter problems are often incredibly creative, resourceful and thrifty. They can see the possibilities in objects that you or I might be very limited in envisioning.” But they are plagued by an inability to let go of stuff when it overwhelms them.  Why?

A lot of the problem can be explained by what we lack, rather than what we have: Time. It’s hard in our society to give the gift of a meaningful experience to self, family, and friends (an extended, truly restful vacation, for example, or even just a lovingly home cooked meal). It’s impossible for many Americans to do this when there is not enough time away from work, and when one’s family and friends have competing, busy schedules.

A Common Security Club—which is just one way of being in community—could seem like a drain of more time. But in fact, the experience of being heard and not judged in a safe community is deeply satisfying. With that experience to fall back on, many people find themselves able to face the intractable problems of their lives, and see how they intersect with those of the larger society.


Andree Zaleska

Andrée Collier Zaleska works as an organizer for the Institute for Policy Studies, where she co-directs the Common Security Club network. She is also a climate activist and the co-founder of the JP Green House, a zero-carbon demonstration home and garden in Boston.

Reader Comments

Reduce, Recycle, Reuse

Posted by Anna at Mar 01, 2010 10:41 PM
sometimes the clutter comes from the "reuse" part of reduce, recycle, reuse. When you are trying to repurpose items, there is a need to hang onto them, as you mentioned. In that ever innovative need to recycle, reuse, clutter comes as well. But then there is the need to let go at some point...

Clutter is not about not having time

Posted by Lori G-M at Mar 02, 2010 09:46 AM
My mom still lives in the home I grew up in as a child. Neatness and cleanliness was considered a priority and this was reflected in the state of the house that contained a family of 4 or 5 people when I was growing up. It is a largish house and we each had our own room. Now my dad has died and mom lives there alone. The papers and magazines cover all surfaces: tables, counters, chairs, sofa, floor, etc. To eat it is necessary to stand up and hold your plate in your hand. In one pile you may find newspaper clippings mixed with her birth certificate. No one is allowed in the house who is not family.

This is NOT about having no time to get organized. This is something deeper about not being able to let go...of ANYTHING. It causes her great pain and shame, but still not enough to do anything about it. I've come to accept that it will only get worse until she dies. It saddens me, but I've stopped trying to change it.

Hoarding

Posted by Andree at Mar 02, 2010 12:11 PM
Clutter is about a lot of things. What you are describing, Lori, is a hoarding disorder. You are right--it's not about lack of time, but something much more serious. Perhaps you could help your mother get treatment, or perhaps, as you say, the best thing to do is accept it.

RE: When Clutter Contains Us

Posted by Gerri at Mar 22, 2010 07:27 AM
Thank you for this very enlightening article. Like Catherine Baker says, when you begin to get to know these people, you do find there is more below the surface. There's a reason people tend to save and often hoard stuff. I went through a couple of years where I was so unhappy with my life I would do the "shopping therapy". I used to be a yard sale junkie, yes, I purchased things we needed, but there were always plenty of items that I might need, or it was such a great deal. Eventually I realized it just wasn't working for me and I stopped. I know of a lady who after losing her son quite a few years ago began sitting home and spending the day watching the home shopping network and pretty soon had every room in her house filled with things she would never use, most of the boxes never even opened. I have a relative who has literally spent her way into bankruptcy trying to buy some happiness for herself and her family, using that famous excuse, "I want my kids to have a better life than I did, I want them to have the things I didn't." It turns out, all they wanted was her time.

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